For the first time in 14 years of marriage, Darling Wifey and I have bought a new bed.

For the last decade and a half we have made do with hand-me-downs, second-hand bargains, and £50 discount deal mattresses. Not one of them has lasted more than a couple of years.

Our current bed was found in a flat by a friend when she moved in, and offered to us “for free” if we could pick it up before the skip she was dumping rubbish into was taken away – giving me just three hours to drive 150 miles and load it into the back of the car.

Just a couple of years down the line it is being held together by brackets and six inch screws, and the mattress we bought to put on it is like a bag of potatoes.

So enough is enough. Savings have been accumulated (aka “borrowed”) and we smartened ourselves up to go into a posh furniture store – with me receiving a lesson from Darling Wifey on the importance of accesories when shopping for expensive goods (or at least that was her excuse for taking her Radley handbag.) We ordered a very large, very sturdy king-sized and a Tempur mattress and pillows. Very soft and luxurious.

The bed will be delivered in about six weeks – but they sent us home with the orthopaedic pillows which, believe it or not, come with a sixteen page instruction book…