Personal pronouns Dead easy. Everyone is a ‘he,’ including Mummy, Little Madam and the dog.

Interactive games Even easier. Rock always wins – because rock can bash the scissors and the paper (and the opponent if necessary.)

Etiquette No problem. All situations can be dealt with by the use of a simple phrase: “Can I have some more please?”

Manners These work on a sliding scale. The more attractive the female, the more? useful good manners are.

Toys These fall into two groups: “mine” and “broken.”

Diplomacy A simple phrase: “No! You’re wrong!”

Personal hygiene First soap up with a bubble blower, then rinse off by standing in front of the sink with your finger stopping the tap.

World peace “I don’t think that’s very kind!“