Peace on earth was disturbed on the island of Sodor this morning, when Thomas the Tank Engine and his friend Percy were terrorised by an enormous inflatable tyrannosaur as they tried to deliver the mail.

Unfortunately, while the Fantastic Four were fighting the dinosaur off (“Norby boy!“) four smaller fair-trade dinosaurs were able to derail the engines and eat their drivers. (Many thanks to the vicar of St Mary Redcliffe for the supply of ethical man-eating beasts.)

Wishing you all a happy, peaceful Christmas. I’m off to counsel my son, who has a severe case of dinosaur envy.