Time for another joke.

Jack was on holiday in Wales, visiting a small fishing village. He bought a pint in a pub on the harbour and sat outside to drink it. Nearby was a local who was mending fishing nets. They started to talk. After a while, Jack introduced himself and asked the local his name.
“You see all those fishing boats there? I mend all the nets in those boats. But do they call be Dai the Net?”
“I suppose not,” Jack answered.
“And look at those lobster pots. I made every one of them. But do they call me Dai the Lobster Potter?”
“Well, no.”
“But shag one sheep…”

In the past couple of weeks I have transformed the house. Granted, I paid the man who put the kitchen floor down, but he let me put a good proportion of the stones into place (after they had been professionally cut and the mortar prepared just so.) But I stripped and varnished floors, replaced woodworm-ridden timbers and was generally skilfull and efficient. I even mended a chair that Little Madam broke – and nobody could tell where I mended it!

But one dab of superglue and my glasses…