Little Nutter doesn’t like the car. The car is boring.

Occasionally we liven up the car by stopping for a Cardboard McBig, for which he will actually fasten his seatbelt. Then, when he has finished his Wood Pulp McNuggets, he unfastens the seatbelt and sits on the floor so he can pour his Glucose-Fructose-Sodium-Metabisulphate juice onto his seat and slurp it off at his leisure.

Once, we tried to put a stop to this entertainment. On that memorable occasion a fifty mile journey took three and a half hours.

Now, however, the Evil Daddy and his Darling Evil Queen Wifey have a Cunning Plan. We have bought an in-car portable DVD player with a built in screen.

Little Nutter loves his DVDs. He can watch them for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours. (I’m being serious here: anyone reading this who has known a child with ASD will think I stopped typing ‘and hours‘ a little hastily…)

Our Cunning Plan is this: we are trying to convince Little Nutter that the in-car DVD system only works when his seatbelt is fastened. Darling Wifey sits in the front with the remote control, and Little Nutter squeals with delight whilst Bob The Builder saves the day from another near disaster.

When Little Nutter’s hand reaches for his seatbelt, she hits ‘pause.’ When he settles again, she hits ‘play.’ If the seatbelt is released, the power is cut.

It took Little Nutter five minutes to learn the rules.