How to make your light bulbs last forever.

First, you need a two-year-old boy. Give him his own room, and fill it with the usual things that these alien creatures need: toys. Trust me – beds are completely useless.

Every night our son is put to bed in clean pyjamas with a drink, a soft toy, a nice, warm duvet, and a story. Every morning he wakes up stark naked on the carpet.

With a good light bulb, he can stay awake all night. So I took the bulb out, and put it in a safe place. “Next time a bulb fails,” I thought, “I’ll swap it with this one.”

Eleven months! Almost a year! Forty-eight weeks without a single bulb-failure in a house with over thirty lights in it.

Insanity is hereditery. You get it from your kids.

And, by the way, a great quote from my daughter was repeated to me. It had worked its way down the grape-vine. “My daddy says I’m far too young to be a teenager.“